Can Facebook Be Saved From Marauding Invaders?


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barbarians are upon us!Remember when you were young and hip and had favorite places to hang out?

Then one day a bunch of strangers joined in and you didn’t take much notice of them. Next, they began inviting their friends and before you knew it, your cool hangout was filled to the brim with a bunch of obnoxious ya-hoos. In a nutshell, that’s what has happened to Facebook, but there is hope… you can do something about it starting right now.

You may be frantically wondering if YOU are part of this barbaric invasion. I’m not one to point fingers, but if you see yourself in any of these, start making amends by doing Facebook right! Here are 3 key points to remember when using Facebook to grow your business.

1. Quit selling.

Just quit it, flat out quit it. Put your “opportunities of a lifetime” on hold, your “incredible offers”, and all of that sales hype away. Offer information and relationship building and people will gravitate towards your services. If you do have something to sell, be wise with how you promote it. Lead with information and being of service, NOT with trying to get people to buy from you. Respect people’s walls and inboxes by NOT filling them with your sales hype. This is especially true for people trained in “traditional” sales and marketing where the “always be closing” mentality is prevalent.

2. Quit spamming.

“Who me a spammer? No way!”
Yes way.
Facebook messages aren’t controlled by spam filters and people are acting like drunken college kids on a Tijuana weekend. Just because there aren’t tons of rules doesn’t mean you have to get all crazy. Every time you send a “message” (read: unsubtle promotion) to a list of friends, all you do is clog up people’s inboxes. Save your direct messages for meaningful, personal interactions. Want to sell something? Get a sales page!

2. Be more transparent.

The beauty of social networking is that you get an at-a-glance view of who the person is that you’re connecting with. I’ve always taught to balance the personal and the professional to add depth to one’s online presence. At the end of the day, you want people to remember you for your professional services, but be human. Let your guard down once in a while and loosen up. Those who are constantly focused on selling always seem “on”. It’s OK not to be… you can even post a status update that you’re having a hard day. THAT’S where the connection will be made, when you start opening yourself up a bit.

Social networking adheres to an unwritten code of conduct where relationships are forged with useful information and genuine interest in others. When your focus is entirely self-serving, then the balance is disturbed and the whole environment soured. Take steps today to clean up your side of the street on Facebook and be part of the people who care about social networking.

Here’s something you can do right now to get started on the right foot:

Turn your social networking into the best marketing and PR tool around:  The all new class How to Get Free Publicity and Attract New Clients with the Power of Social Networking starts soon. Early bird discount only lasts until July 22 and space is limited in this class.

Get more info here: www.VivaVisibility.com/expertclass2.html

About Nancy: Nancy Marmolejo is a PR, media, and social networking strategist who teaches women entrepreneurs how to generate more money and attention by positioning themselves in the spotlight. An award winning business owner, Nancy is frequently quoted in the areas of business, creativity, and social networking.


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About Nancy Marmolejo

I'm a soul-driven strategist who teaches entrepreneurs how to turn followers into fans and fans into clients using social media and heart based marketing. My approach integrates proven strategies and intuitive hits so each client finds her special way to stand out and sizzle in the spotlight.

  • http://BetterLivingWithWholeFoods.com Alexander Morentin

    I agree with you.

    Social networking is different than social marketing.

    It's all about developing beneficial relationships.

    Blatant, in your face marketing is out…

    Building trust and nurturing relationships is in.

    Gracias… :D

  • http://missiondrivenmarketing.com Dave Webb

    Great post, Nancy. I'll be pointing my Facebook friends who don't behave to this post! Thanx for making it clear how to NOT use social media for business.

    Dave

  • http://www.mindovermenopause.com Susanna Duffy

    I totally agree.

    What kind of image are you putting over when you spam people with a sales message? No one will get a lead with spam, only the dubious distinction of being muted instead.

    Another point, stay clear of 99% of the apps. Who needs vampire bites, silly graffiti or pornographically-named cocktails on their profile?

    Your profile should be professional – like Linkedin – with a light touch of your personality. As you say, Nancy, you want "people to remember you for your professional services, but be human".

    Susanna Duffys last blog post..Middle Age Spread

  • http://www.beverlymau.com Beverly

    You rock and roll! I love the images you choose, content, copy, & consistent color scheme. Well done.

  • http://www.vivavisibility.com Nancy Marmolejo

    So glad to know we're in agreement! There is a subtle balance in all this. I am not saying to NOT try to do business on Facebook (Most of my clients have come from social networking contacts). After you focus on the relationship then people are more open to talk about how you can help them.

    I've found that to be a great way to get clients, just be natural and friendly and see where things go from there.

    Here's a link to a program I'm about to start that focuses on that concept- I think it's an important one to share:
    http://www.vivavisibility.com/expertclass2.html

  • http://www.billweaverphoto.com Bill Weaver

    My sentiments exactly…keep that warrior fired up! Maybe we should all don our inner warriors and put the hype to a stop.

    One point I would add to this..you want “people to remember you for your professional services, but be human”, that if people remember you for who you are they will remember your brand and hence your business. The hope that social networking brings is an eventual shift away from anonymous business.Think the old corner market or drug store or your local coffee hangout where the barista knows your preferences and has your drink ready and waiting as you walk in, and she also takes the time to connect.

  • http://www.wellnessrevolutionaries.com/goto/prelaunch.htm Sheila Martin

    When I first joined FB, I used to look forward to checking my InBox, because it was always personal messages from real people. Not any more!

    Thanks for taking a stand against the Thundering Hordes, Nancy! Together, we're strong.

    Sheila

  • http://simply-home-business.com Kate Williams

    Hi, Nancy. I sent your newsletter and this piece around to my team today. Now I'm "driving" off to Facebook and Digg to share with my social networking friends. Thanks for your work!

  • http://www.menopauserus.com Carrie Pierce

    Amen Sister!

    I'm new to Facebook (by about a month)- and what started out as nice, fun and friendly has suddenly turned on me. I am getting slammed with sales stuff I have no desire to receive- from folks I don't even know.

    It's very off putting. I mean, heck, I'm in online sales too but I haven't sent anything out and don't plan to! My website and blog are listed on my professional profile and as far as I see it, that's enough for now.

    Seems to me alot of folks out there are reading the same books and then simply regurgitating the very same info, passing themselves off as the new 'Experts' on the subject (mostly how to become a Millionaire in 10 minutes).

    Reminds me of a Tupperware party from the 1970s- and a large part of me wants to run screaming for the door.

    Thanks for letting me know that a) I am not alone in my feelings and b) I am correct in obeying my instincts NOT to join in.

    Please keep harping on this as much as possible. We need you out here!

  • http://melanie-writeon.blogspot.com Melanie Kissell

    So glad you brought this up, Nancy!

    Just recently I joined a few Facebook groups that really sounded like fun and then …

    My mailbox started filling up with tons of spam, ads, offers, etc. from the group moderators. How "obvious" is that??! The ONLY reason these particular groups were started was to try and sell somebody something! I'll pass.

    Thanks for another awesome post,

    ~Melanie Kissell

    Melanie Kissells last blog post..Nurture Your Network

  • http://www.imagespecialist.com Marlys Arnold

    Kudos, Nancy! I totally agree with you. In fact, if people send too many in-your-face offers, I simply un-friend them. People need to understand that their online profile is part of their overall image and reputation … a bad rep online will eventually spill over into the rest of their business.

    Marlys Arnold, ImageSpecialist

  • http://www.vivavisibility.com Nancy Marmolejo

    I have to admit, Aztec Warrior gear and all, I am getting burned out by Facebook. It's becoming my MySpace of the moment (totally delegated out social networking page)

    Go to http://www.Ping.fm or http://www.FriendFeed.com to stop the madness.

    :-)

    Nancy

  • http://www.aconsummatelife.com Pam

    Great post. And I'm glad to see all the comments supporting your position. The reality is that most of us are selling something! But we didn't join Facebook to be sold to. I consider Facebook a virtual party or networking meeting. After all, it's a social networking site, not a sales site. The rules of propriety should be the same as in real life.

    I, too, have become quite proficient with the "unfriend" button!

    Pams last blog post..Broiled Halibut Steaks with Lemon-Dill Sauce

  • http://www.melissawadsworth.com Melissa Wadsworth

    Great reminder…and oh-so-timely! I hear so much about how social networking is the marketing tool of the moment, and yet I was having a hard time understanding how spamming everyone you can get on your group list could be effective. There was even one guy asking for all my contacts! Yikes, what a quick way to lose friends and dis-impress associates. Thanks for such a clear and strong message about Facebook use.

  • http://whyfacebook.com Mari Smith

    Well said, Nancy!!! You rock. Love these sentiments. (Great look/feel to your new newsletter, btw!!)

    Gosh, only 78 messages? LOL. I exposed my message count on my Facebook Masterclass yesterday – my students gasped at the 404 unopened. Gak! Many are old. Most I just cannot get to and am handing over to my VA to manage. It's one of the challenges of growing your network as you know.

    Thanks for flying the flag of proper socnet etiquette!!

    Cheers,

    Mari

    @marismith

    Mari Smiths last blog post..Social Media: Modern Day Gold Rush?

  • http://www.writetodream.com Maria Mar

    You've done it again, Nancita! Your finger in the pulse, your heart right where it needs to be.

    Today I took half a day to catch up in Facebook and to let everyone know about my upcoming event. When I visited a group, I read what was posted, and commented. I joined discussion groups and sometimes started one. I left an invitation respectfully explaining how the event benefited those in each group. But I have to say, it was tough.

    The percentage of people who are takers and not givers in Facebook is a reflection on group dynamics everywhere. There are those who create an organization, those who work to make it strong, those who make cakes and sell tickets… and those who come to eat and will complain because they have to pay the contribution price.

    The walls in most groups I have visited are full of people who leave quick comments, who talk and don't listen, who go in to "make a kill" (I'm quoting one wall comment) and do not contribute. Even when the moderator asks people to contribute or they will be deleted, the majority simply do not.

    The irony of this is that this is atrocious marketing. Marketing is a process that begins with attracting attention, then sharing information and creating affiliation, then stepping it up by providing value and letting people know how else they can benefit in the exchange, and then the people are ready to become your costumers, or perhaps refer someone to you, or in some other way add value to your life because you have earned their trust and you have become familiar to them.

    In contrast to this truly effective marketing, I remember hearing these words from a marketing lady in a presentation, this in response to the use of art to promote audience engagement, "intimacy is the client buying the product."

    And there lies the problem. When you do not care for your clients you are intrusive, vampiristic, opportunistic, a taker, inconsiderate and aggressive. The school that Carrie talks about is what I call the "Product Pushers." I remember not being able to answer a survey because they were asking me if I was promoting my service aggressively. Why should I promote it aggressively? I knew that they meant persistently and with commitment. But I was not willing to exchange one meaning for another, so I left the survey.

    Aggressively does NOT mean effectively. It means that you are not respecting people's boundaries, not creating relationships and, at the core of the matter, you are acting from fear, hunger and need to control.

    This is addictive behavior, not power. The illusion that this behavior brings is that you are in control, and that you are doing something and moving forward. But that is a mirage. Action and movement are not the same. Action means doing something with purpose, strategy and deliberation to move into a desired position. Taking an action changes reality, moving you towards your goals and dreams. Movement is repeating the same behavior over and over, unthinkingly, aggressively. I believe that Albert Einstein defined this as madness.

    I remind you all, beautiful beings of light, that there is no reason to fear, not even in the so called recession, which is also a perception. I remind you that Facebook is a ground where our Shadows get magnified and mirrored back to us. Shadows are fear-based defensive Inner Selves. They are learned responses that arise from fear and try to achieve a measure of control.

    As I said before in another post, Networking is the Female Face of Prosperity. What we are seeing here, at a spiritual, global energy shift, is that the Patriarchal, Male-only Face of Prosperity, the "aggressive" marketing must change. The Male Face of Prosperity must marry the Female Face of Prosperity. This is the Earth global movement. It is a cosmic reaction that is trying to help humanity survive the 2012 dimensional shift, predicted long ago by the Mayans, among other Wise Native People of the world. "The sun will burn itself down from movement" was the wording.

    The sun represents the Male Face of Power. We are moving too quickly, too aggressively, developing technologically and scientifically, but not intellectually, creatively or spiritually. This aggressive movement, reflected on the type of marketing we are seeing, results in loss of values. To bring balance to this accelerated grow, the Female Face of Power needs to be honored and married to the Male Face of Power. This is the new paradigm that will help us "slow down" while at the same time we accelerate our energy frequency. It's happening at many levels, and this Facebook War is sort of a Star Wars for this galactic shift.

    This is what I see, and I join my voice to yours. The question is how can we change this behavior?

    Nancy, you are doing a great job of helping us stay in track, change Shadow-behavior and reflect on these issues. What else can each of us do?

    I have observed that there are certain groups where this Shadow behavior is not taking root. The groups are creative, intimate, promote questions that deal with personal experience and encourage topics that uplift and illuminate. I believe that the moderators of the groups, like a store manager in a locale, set the environment and style. Therefore, we have a place to start in the wave of change.

    Light and Love,

    Maria Mar

    The Dream Alchemist

  • http://nancymkqueen.wordpress.com/ Nancy Sutherland

    Well said, Nancy and I totally agree. Another thing that annoys me on FB is all of those applications. If you are new on Facebook it seems harmless and cute to add a couple, but then it proceeds to send it to everyone who is your friend on FACEBOOK. Do we really need all of that extra stuff? Would it be wrong to turn off all application requests? I have deleted some that I got in the beginning and I have found that you can't add them again later ( not that I would want to) The constant "requests" take just as much time as going through all of the emails and reduce productivity if we are trying to use FACEBOOK for business.

    Nancy Sutherlands last blog post..Free Virtual Makeover!

  • http://www.vivavisibility.com Nancy Marmolejo

    Check out the Viva Visibility Facebook Video Tips at http://www.YouTube.com/user/VivaVisibility as it will show you this isn't a problem that just popped up yesterday!

    (Made the videos in April 08 which is like 7 years ago in social networking time LOL!)

  • http://ra-stores.blogspot.com Robb Auspitz

    Hi Nancy,

    Great posting! I agree with you 100%. I generally end up deleting 90% of the Facebook e-mails and 99% of the wall postings I get because they're just blatent sales pitches. I don't even bother reading most of them. Thank you again.

    Robb Auspitzs last blog post..How to Hang Just About Anything Easily