Surely the scariest place for a business owner is when the phone isn’t ringing, clients are leaving, and you get that dreaded feeling….

“Oh crap….no one is buying these days.  What am I going to do?”

We’ve all been there and it just sucks!  But there is a way out.  In this post I’ll talk about some inner game and mindset strategies.  So know you aren’t alone if you have felt this, and that there is a way through it!

And if you are in that space of fear about money, the first thing you must do is to watch your thoughts! Instead of looking at what you don’t have or what you have lost, flip it to notice just how much abundance is all around you. Perhaps you have an abundance of beauty in your yard, or like me feel tremendous wealth in personal relationships. This is where the expression, “What you think about, you bring about” comes in. The more you focus on lack and fear, the more you will see and experience it.

Your number one job during these sometimes scary times is to manage your energy. We’ve all had the experience of having the desperate person in the bar hitting on us or the pushy car sales person who needed your purchase to pay his rent. That ‘vibe’ can be quite repelling, so you must be vigilant about knowing that your good is right around the corner, and stay in the positive mode of what you have that’s working right now.

Whatever you do, STOP the talk about what’s going wrong!   If you tend to have those ‘woe is me’ conversations you can set a timer and give yourself a few minutes to get it out of your system, or have your friends lovingly remind you when you go down that road, but whatever you do….don’t feed the fear.

So after you stop the negative conversations, the next piece is to look at the possible gifts in your life even if you can’t see them in the moment.  Think of the farmer who has to have faith and trust that the seeds he planted in the ground he so lovingly prepared…will soon take root.  That’s the task for you my friend.  Finding that level of faith.

So just to restate it, the mindset tricks when you get scared or they aren’t buying are these:

• Stay in the day – don’t project into the future with fear
• Focus on what’s working and expand that
• Find the gifts so you don’t feel like a victim
• Refuse to give in to negativity – shift your energy
• See the abundance all around you and amplify it
• Reach out and let people support/love you
• Know there are seasons to everything and this too will change.

Try these tips and let me know how it works for you.  Mainly … don’t give up!

(c) 2011 Therese Skelly. Discover a simple, yet surprising secret to getting unstuck in your small business by visiting www.HappyInBusiness.com and signing up for her next free workshop and receive a free audio “Uncovering the 7 Biggest Money Drains in Your Business-Tips and Tactics to Stop Losing Money Each Month.”

At first I was stumped as to what I’d write on. With so much to be grateful for, I found it hard to narrow it down to 1 incident, let alone in 200 words.

Bunny and Nancy on stage at I Heart My Biz

Then the muse came to me in an unexpected form.

My mom recently found out that the cancer she dealt with 4 years ago had returned and metathesized to her lung. (This photo shows my mom visiting me recently at I Heart My Biz. Yes, the woman is amazing!)

In thinking about her and what this diagnosis means, I started going through all the memories and amazing moments that make me grateful for her.

Suddenly, a funny memory of my mom surfaced.

First you have to understand her a bit. The woman is TALKATIVE. Let’s  just say she knows how to fill dead air. Driving down the street, walking through a mall… she’s a neverending stream of observations, comments, questions, and pronouncements.

But when she had to go through chemo the first time, all that stopped.

Until one day in August of 2007… and I recreated that magical moment in my contribution to The Gratitude Book Project.

You can find out what happened by getting a copy of The Gratitude Book Project and read 364 other inspiring daily meditations to keep you rooted in gratitude. I hope these daily readings keep you grounded in GRATITUDE and open you up to the amazing miracles it holds for us all.

Also, if you order the book today, I’ll send you a special gift.

You can have your choice of any ONE of my Social Media Training Pack Modules: Linked In, Twitter, Facebook Profiles, or Facebook Fan Pages,  plus learn best practices to turn your social media actions into revenue.

Each module is valued at $77, you can get one for free if you buy the Gratitude Book Today.

Just forward a copy of your Amazon receipt to Assist@VivaVisibility.com and put “Gratitude Book Project Receipt” in the subject line. In your message, let us know which module you’d like: Twitter, Linked In, Facebook Profiles, or Facebook Fan Pages. (You must choose just one). We’ll make sure you get your social media training module at no charge.

Click the link below to get a copy of your book. Remember to let us know you got it by sending an email, and be sure to dog-ear the page I wrote! (Would love your thoughts)

Let's get rid of the mud slinging

It’s election day tomorrow and it’s going down in history as the year of the dirtiest attack ads ever.

My analysis: It seems like everybody’s pissed off. Money’s tight, business is down for some, teacher furlough days make working parents scramble for childcare, the planet is heating up, and made in the USA is a rare find. Who do you blame? The incumbent? The guy who mows the lawn on Tuesdays? Washington? Wall Street? Main Street? Soccer moms?

What a toxic and terrible dance.

In Fullerton, CA, the campaign ads against a candidate show a stick person barfing. Seriously, projectile dots representing barf spray across the poster. Apparently the candidate was connected to a food poisoning outbreak. But is a barfing person necessary to tell me not to vote for him?

Another reads “Job Killer”. And my favorite “Irvine Carpetbagger”. (Lock up your children, they might start getting 4.5 GPAs and apply for Ivy League schools!)

The temptation to take the low, low, low road is so fierce right now. Resist it.

The Heart Based Business Response:

As soul-driven entrepreneurs we know a thing or two about walking through the muck without having to drag everyone else in with us. Most of us got into this business because we’re committed to personal development and spiritual growth. We may not like everyone we meet, but we don’t put posters around town with barfing people on them. We just don’t.

With all this negative, negative, negative stirring around it’s really important we take this opportunity to spread some positivity around and boost morale.

Will you join me in taking the high road? Let’s try this together, and let me know how you fare. I’m calling this “Nancy’s Quest to Eradicate All The Nasty Crap Around Us”.

I’m putting my money on getting your own head and heart into a good place. Start with you, then the happiness spreads. And maybe even the  political campaigns can engage in an intelligent discourse.

1. Focus on gratitude. Every day, many times a day.

2. Quit trash talking about yourself. Your body is awesome, that roll of paunch is just more to love. Whatever you just said to that group of people didn’t make you sound stupid and your mother really loves you.

3. You have enough. Your iPhone works great, your car gets you around just fine, no need to embrace upgrade anxiety.

4. Find something loveable about something/someone that repulses you. Bad crafts, jerky people, your ex. I know, that’s a hard one but it’s a good muscle to develop.

5. When someone looks like they’re making more money than you are or you feel like you’re not in the cool kids group, don’t worry. A lot of them are living million dollar paycheck to million dollar paycheck.

Your turn. What’s your remedy for all this negative crap? Leave me a comment, I’d love to know how you can help heal this.

We as people in the public eye must examine everything with the utmost integrity, always questioning our motives, our truth and our intentions. “Integrity” is considered to be having a consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcomes. It could also be seen as a steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. With that in mind, it is easier to live a peaceful, happy life if we live who we say we are. Yet, what can we do when we see that a public figure is not living in integrity?

This is especially difficult when these public figures are in our field of expertise or in a field embedded in truth, personal growth and authenticity. We see very plainly that this person is very far from walking their talk. From all observation, they are not even in an inner conflict or internal struggle from what they say not matching with what they do.  Therefore, how can we help those who are being unwittingly hoodwinked by such a person?

It is very important to see through the facades and personas of well-known celebrities, spiritual-consciousness teachers, bloggers and internet marketers. It is well accepted that many current marketing strategies support the idea that one should take a mole hill and show it from an angle that could make it appear to be a mountain. That is how “they” will be the most successful. But, I ask, where is the integrity in that?

There is a sense of freedom in seeing the truth, as best we can, and sharing with those who tend to be more vulnerable with what we see as being contradictory. It’s what good journalism does: exposes lies and deceptions. But for those who are in the same field as the ones who are compromising its integrity, it is up to them to defend the truth from those who are taking advantage of the unaware. After all, those people, who may be dangerous, need to be seen for who they are: just a show or just a marketing phenomenon with lots of gloss and good timing. The “guru’s” deception, lack of integrity, and incongruence needs to be exposed for the good of all. Yet, how do we blow the whistle or tell the truth as we see it?

Even if our intentions are honorable and we feel compelled to call these discrepancies as we see them, how do we do this with our own integrity in tact while not losing our way? Perhaps we could rant to our closest friends and colleagues for understanding, agreement and support, serving as a sounding board for our own edification and sanity.  As we share our concerns with those close to us, we can then process what seems like a wrong, an injustice, a huge distortion or potential danger. Once we have vented, we then can allow ourselves to slow down and take a larger look. Then what?

Quite certainly, we want to get this information to those it will help the most—the innocent and perhaps gullible. Since it is important to pass on to the world truth as we see it, what is the best way to start? It is important to raise the questions in public and state the facts, keeping in mind all humans err; all of us are fallible. However, there are some among us, because of deep wounding, who are not capable of enough internal questioning. We maintain a kind but firm commitment to showing the evidence that someone is out of alignment. We do this by calling out to the person teaching the incorrect information, if we know them. We must write, speak and teach our own knowledge of this field, knowing that the truth on some level rings loudly for all of us. Focusing on our heart and compassion of the human struggle, we question what is being taught, holding our integrity and breathing into the knowledge that the larger picture will be revealed and become clear at some point to others. On some level these particular “experts” must know that they are lying or taking advantage of others, but the thoughts and feelings are deeply buried in self-deception. When that is true, the false self and the gig that is espousing the untruths usually crumbles at some point.

It also might help if we ask ourselves a few questions for our own growth and connection to authenticity:

•    How do I feel as I’m telling these perceptions?
•    Am I feeling any bit of scorn or gloating?
•    Am I assuming that I have the only right position?
•    Do I feel any degree of delight?

As we ask ourselves these questions, it’s helpful to do so compassionately. After all, we are all on this journey together and at any given moment feeling we are doing our best. This “best” can be quite distorted at times, though, for all of us. How many of us look back ten years and think of a decision or comment we made or something we said or did and now wonder, “What was I thinking?”  With that in mind, even though we want to challenge our colleagues’ lack of integrity, we should always have compassion for them as well as for ourselves.

About the Author

Dr. Jennifer Howard is a licensed psychotherapist, healer, author, relationship counselor, and professional speaker with more than 20 years of experience in helping people make changes in their lives. She’s created a personal development plan and assists people in personal development and spiritual growth through her lectures, workshops, and her upcoming book, Changes That Last. She has offices in Huntington, Long Island, NY, and New York City, is a leading expert on spirituality and psychology, and is a former faculty of the graduate program of A Society of Souls and has appeared as an expert on numerous national network television shows.

There’s a lot of “truth” going around, but is it really truth or is it hidden anger? I’m not a psychologist, I’m simply a student of human nature, but the amount of criticism and guru bashing going on is making me wonder.

I started seeing it in November when a big buzz around Ali Brown’s Shine event erupted. I didn’t attend the event, but a lot of people weren’t crazy about her new direction and took their issues very publicly. I think it was brave and courageous for the people who spoke up, but after a while it started to sound like a barrage of negativity. I got the message that it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be, but after the 25th rant, it started to get old.

Then I saw others continue the trend (but taking it a notch higher) by naming names of marketers they didn’t like. Seriously… is that worth making a video or blog post over?

Where’s the finesse in all of this?

I think it’s important to share one’s opinion. In fact, I’ve shared my opinion plenty of times in this blog on things that I see simply don’t work. But jeez, I don’t scream out names, I do want to leave some dignity there!

Sure it’s fun to dish, but when you start being known for that (even in the name of Truth), people will forget about your wonderful talents and only focus on the fact that you’ve got a bone to pick with the world.

And trust… would you hire someone who talks crap about others? How do you know they’re not going to leave a knife in your back one day?

It’s important people speak up, but how about taking the high road and going for a constructive outcome? Otherwise it’s just a bunch of finger pointing.

As I ponder this, I realize a couple things:

1. Some people love the fight.

There are some people who love to be confrontational and get a big kick out of fighting and negativity. They thrive on it. I’m sure there’s a big unhealed emotional wound fueling the fire. I hope they get their heartbreak resolved or whatever is creating so much anger.

2. Cyber culture promotes drive by criticisms.

Just go on Yelp… the other day while looking for a shoe repair, I stumbled upon a review where the reviewer went on and on how F***ING PSYCHO the owners were. Who’s more psycho, the insane shoe repair owners or the customer who wrote the entire saga in morbid detail and LOTS OF CAPS which ended up sounding like someone’s therapy homework?

3. You Don’t Have to Play Along

I’m glad I hang with people who consider themselves heart based entrepreneurs, mission driven, and guided by a sense of doing good. We need more of you to turn things to the positive! I’m not saying to turn into the Happiness Police and deprive people of their right to express themselves, but be good facilitators and help point things towards constructive outcomes and greater understanding.

4. Truth is an Inside Job

If you’re so busy looking at what everyone else is doing wrong, does that mean you’re done working on yourself? Find your truth.

——-

You can agree or disagree with this. Maybe you think I’m trying to squelch debate (I’m not). I just want to see us all behave as grown ups who know how to play nicely in the sandbox.

What do you think of this? How do we reset things to point towards greater understanding? I’d love your comments.

As we come to a certain stage in our lives many of us feel the call to make a difference. We want to make a difference in the lives of our families and our communities. We feel this spiritual call to make our unique impact. What I mean is that we all were put here to sing a particular song that only we have the lyrics to. For example, I came here to live the life of Dr. Jennifer Howard, with all of my gifts and challenges and to learn and grow and become my absolute best. You came to live as (fill in your name), to give to the world all of your gifts and talents and to learn from your difficulties.

From a spiritual perspective, many texts throughout history talk about the interconnectedness of all of life and how we are all one. Very much like the ocean is all water and we are individual waves in that ocean.

Many of us make our greatest positive impact through our life’s purpose; which can be defined as our unique impact. One’s life purpose can be the source of more than one positive impact. When we are able to find our life’s purpose, embrace it, and allow ourselves to move through life doing it, we feel much more content, at peace and happy.

Some people’s impacts are not, at first glance, huge. We are not all here to be Donald Trump or Barack Obama. Some of us do things in a much more behind the scenes way which is equally as important. Somehow in society today, many folks feel like they have to be famous to make an impact, and that’s not true.

Right now I am thinking of the classic movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” starring Jimmy Stewart. In this movie, the central character thinks he didn’t do anything in his life. He is feeling frustrated with his life because he feels like it is too small. As the movie unfolds, we see how many people’s lives he actually touched and how much of a difference he actually made in his community. He gets to see what the world would be like without him, as if he was never born.

I invite you to answer the following questions…

Are you clear about what your life’s purpose is? If you are, what is it?

In what ways have you expressed it in the world so far to make your positive impact?

In the future, what other kinds of positive impacts would you like to create through your life’s purpose?

About the Author:
Dr. Jennifer Howard is a licensed psychotherapist, healer, author, relationship counselor, and professional speaker with more than 20 years of experience in helping people make changes in their lives. She’s appeared as an expert on numerous national network television shows including The Maury Povich Show, America’s Talking, Rolanda & other national media. She is known for her compassion and wit.

Right now, Dr. Howard is offering a free gift along with her free ezine. You will also gain access to free articles, blog and the online Virtual Meditation Room with guided and visual meditations, and more. Visit http://www.DrJenniferHoward.com

You can learn more about numerology from Melani’s site, but first let me tell you how I came into getting a reading from her. At the end of this post is a video Melani made about my numbers so you can see her in action too.

A few weeks ago Melani did a numerology report on my creativity twin Rick Butts and as soon as I saw it I emailed her asking if I could have a reading too.

I love tools like these, not that I can’t make a move without them, but they give me things to focus on. When you’re a very creative person, you need all the anchors you can get so you don’t float away on the idea highs.

Melani shared some very insightful things. She used words that really made me step up and pay attention: Leader, influencer, clever, progressive, versatility, change, innovative.

My biggest takeaway was the word IMPLEMENT. That single word shifted some procrastination out of me, so even in this 5 minute reading, I walked away with a gem.

Melani is available for business numerology consultations- maybe your word to guide your year is sitting in your numbers waiting to be revealed. Click this link to learn more about her services (which include planning launches, critiquing copy, analyzing titles and names, etc)

Here’s the video Melani made for my mini-reading: