Hard Selling on Social Media: Just Say No!

by Nancy Marmolejo on June 23, 2009

in Lead Generation & Soft Selling

Join me in a collective groan as I reflect on the enormous amount of hard selling and pitching on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter.

I’m down to two possible reasons why this is so prevalent:

1. Either hard selling works so well that it’s the reason everyone is using it,

or

2. people are so baffled at how to make money with social media that they fall back on old, tired tactics.


I’m leaning towards number 2, and I’ll tell you why.

When I run through my Twitter stream, 90% of what I see are pitches. Some have the same copy I find on tattered flyers waving at me from telephone poles:

“Work from home, earn extra money! click here”.

Others are straight up calls to action:

“Only 10 minutes left to get the 75% discount!”

Then there are the veiled pitches that pretend they’re conversational but are really just what they are… pitches.

“I so love working w/ incredible client$ helping them make buku $$$ and luv life!” (this one is followed by a link to join a  program or class)

So why am I against these?

First of all, they break my 3 proven ways to turn  followers into fans and fans into clients with social networking.

1. They don’t add VALUE to the network.

It’s a one way conversation and although it may be nice to join someone’s program or buy their product at 75% off, the message doesn’t inform or engage me.

2. They don’t boost CREDIBILITY.

This is serious, folks. Your entire business rests on your credibility. If you’re out there pitching furiously without real  engagement that provides something useful to your network, then you don’t have a strong platform to stand on. Credibility counts. Google the names of the people pitching you and see if it leads to a trail of credible authority or leads to a cloud of smoke.

3. They don’t build TRUST.

We buy from those we know, like, and trust. If you bypass this process, then your prospects will resist your offers and raise obstacles. The process of engaging and connecting with your social media friends builds the trust needed to open people up to buying from you.

Adding value, proving your credibility, and building trust are essential in any situation where people are going to buy from you. Having access to thousands of new contacts doesn’t mean you will have success pitching your offers to them.

Do you really want to click on a Tweet that reads more like a classified ad than a greeting? Do you rely on Twitter as a place to buy stuff or a place to connect?

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  • Glad to know I wasn't the only one noticing the same thing. And if I hear one more time "Turn Lemons into Lemonade" I'm demanding a COLD BEER.

    And yet the upside to this helps us raise awareness as to how else can we be of value; therefore, turning us into Value Providers in addition to Service Providers.

    This would make for a fun, writing contest of defining "Value Providers" - Anyone up to it? ?

    <abbr>Ali R. Rodriguezs last blog post..Speakers Summer Series 09</abbr>
  • Ali I love that! Anyone can serve, but it takes a special person to provide value. Let's see if we can get some of the commenters to define value in their terms. Gracias!
  • I often compare social networking to in-person networking. Would you want to do biz with someone shoving a sales letter down your throat before you can even swallow your drink? Or do you want to do biz with someone after you chatted with them for awhile and had a few things in common? If you wouldn't do it live and in person then don't do it online.

    <abbr>Michele PWs last blog post..How Publicity Can Help You Hear Ka-Ching! In Your Biz</abbr>
  • Michele: you and I know that, but why are people still spamming the heck out of us? I think it's deep rooted insecurities, I'll have to ask Dr. Jennifer for her feedback on this.
  • This would truly be a fun thing to do! Imagine, finally coming up with a great definition for "Value Provider"! Every time I write it, (and say it outloud) I feel like a peacock, very proud; because it is part of the authenticity of being who we are. Easy to own! LuV it!

    <abbr>Ali R. Rodriguezs last blog post..Speakers Summer Series 09</abbr>
  • couldn't agree more, it is about the conversation and building trust

    <abbr>Beckie Mostellos last blog post..Helpful Online Marketing Book- How to Win Sales & Influence Spiders</abbr>
  • Your views are right. I really appreciate your way of revealing the real fact.
  • I agree 100% and spamming me is the fastest way for me NOT to do business with you. I thought social media was a way to connect and build a relationship prior to doing business - my definition of Value Provider would be a person/company who consistantly offers more than they take AND truely gives me the choice to listen/read or not.

    <abbr>Judy Ryders last blog post..Love and Laughter</abbr>
  • Nancy I think you really hit it when you said the peeps fall back on old tired tactics - because they just don't know any better - ever heard of the story about the fish who lived in a small bowl and then it was put in the bathtub but kept on swimming in the same small tight circles - even when it had the freedom to try something entirely new? Part of the work of a leader, visionary, trailblazer and role model like yourself and others that you are aligned with is the two fold ability to risk trying something new and then standing in that truth, living it out and demonstrating it. After that the final bridge to cross is "bringing it back to the people" and communicating the "new" way clearly, precisely and simply!

    <abbr>Amethyst Wyldfyres last blog post..The Visionary Vibe Report – False Starts</abbr>
  • Because I'm an artist the "hard sell" is really out of the question. Art is not something someone buys because of a hard sell pitch it's a matter of the heart. So instead, I think of myself as an educator or maybe facilitator helping people understand art, and understand why owning art is so enriching to one's life.

    When connecting with other artists I really put my teacher's hat on, LOL, and I don't even have products to sell other artists unless they live close enough to take my classes.

    Adding value is a much better way to live your social media life and the rest of your life, too!

    <abbr>Jan Blencowes last blog post..Sunflowers Bees Wax (encaustic) Painting</abbr>
  • Your points are spot-on. I regularly spend a few minutes here and there purging my Twitter Stream of blatant pitches. Not ALL pitches, because some folks - who I know to be engaging and participatory most of the time - will occasionally invite me to a teleseminar or other virtual event. That I can live with, because Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn ARE good places to find a warm audience of people that want to learn and engage in meaningful commerce. Not all the time, of course...so a balance is necessary.

    <abbr>Tim 'Gonzo' Gordons last blog post..Communication Steroids Podcast: How Much do You THINK Before You Speak?</abbr>
  • Amen Nancy. Love this. I wish there was an easy and efficient way to simply unfollow all the people who constantly pitch, talk about great homes for sale in their neighborhood and tell me how to make a million dollars in my pjs...with no work:) It's so often the case that when I pull up the page there is not a single tweet of value on the page that shows up so I have gotten into the habit of identifying 5-10 people a day I want to check out and then I just go to their stream. I go where I know the value is and I join the conversation and hope to offer some value of my own.

    Thanks as always for your insights.

    Melani

    <abbr>Melani Wards last blog post..Sabotage: What Would Your Life Look Like Without All of the Stories?</abbr>
  • I've pretty analytical about adding people to my Twitter or even Facebook. If it looks like there are going to be a stream of such tweets, I just don't follow back or add them as a friend. If for some reason I misinterpreted them and it starts up, I just either unfollow or unfriend.

    I'm sure you're seeing more of it than I am partly because - I just don't follow everyone back. It may sound time consuming but it works for this introvert!

    This kind of approach you mention reminds me so much of some make-me-gag networking where people move right to their spiel - often before they even know your name!

    Thanks for the great validation Nancy.

    <abbr>Patricia Webers last blog post..Introvert Myth - Are We Misusing the word introvert or extrovert?</abbr>
  • Judy: I love your definition of providing value "a person/company who consistantly offers more than they take ". That involves a huge amount of guts and a nudge to make sure the content is REALLY good.

    Amethyst: I appreciate your perspective on this as you are an expert in the process of making huge transformations. This is more than breaking bad habits, it's connecting to something deeper. the courage to be real... huge!

    Jen: Thank you for providing the artists' point of view. By educating first, you're allowing people to make an informed decision. Bet no one ever feels like selling is part of the equation when they buy art from you.

    Tim (can I just call you Gonzo?)
    Thanks for pointing out about teleseminars, etc. What you said is key: BALANCE. I send out promos for teleseminars all the time, but that's not all I send out. I follow a 10:1 ratio more or less, "Tweet unto others 10 times more than you tweet unto yourself)

    Nancy
    :-)
  • Oh how I am weary of the tired old messages like the ones circulating about getting thousands of followers today, overnight, or in the next hour. The message itself tells us that these people have no idea what the purpose of social networking is. Why would I want to buy from someone who doesn't even get the big picture? But then, they are probably being sold a bill of goods by someone else too...
  • I'm also a fine artist and agree with Jan's comment above about offering information plus an engaging something extra.

    The amount of spam seems to be increasing exponentially. I'd be interested to know if there has ever been a marketing study on the successful sales ratio of spam marketing?
    Anybody know?
  • A very good friend of mine, Chrystal Bougon, posted your blog on FB. It's excellent! I have read everyone's comments and couldn't agree more! I spend a great deal of time in conversations with people at networking events, etc. saying these exact same things. The analogy of walking up to a group at a cocktail party and chiming into the conversation with business promotion, etc. without even understanding what the discussion is about is exactly what I see happening on Twitter and other SoMe sites all of the time... Just like Michelle and a couple of others have mentioned. In my industry, there are places for this (like ActiveRain, etc.). I belong to a group called "CyberStars" which are professionals in my industry who use technology quite a bit in business. Even though we are all in Real Estate, we will "de-friend" or "unfollow" other Realtors who constantly post their listings and promote themselves. I cannot stand that! Twitter and Facebook are about building community, not constantly saying, "Hey, look at me and use me the next time you need my services." Thank you for taking the time to share your insight with us and congratulations on your Top 50 Most Influencial Women in SoMe!

    <abbr>Dawn Thomass last blog post..It’s Your Birthday!</abbr>
  • This is so on target. I am a "newbie" to social networking. The key word for me is SOCIAL. It is though genuine interaction and building trust that authentic relationships grow. Thanks for this perspective, Nancy.
  • Nancy..you Rock!

    <abbr>Leah Shapiros last blog post..And The Winner Is……</abbr>
  • What a juicy conversation! Here's another challenge I'd like to see us take up. Here we are writing comments to a blog. We have plenty of space to write. And seems we're "preaching to the choir."

    So here's my challenge: What do valuable tweets look like? How do you add value in 140 characters? How do we help the newbies learn the value packed way of social networking? And how to we talk a language that those who have been doing 'hard selling' can get so they can shift to more effective ways?

    I'm curious for several reasons. I want to learn from you who KNOW the wisdom of adding value first and foremost. And I want others to see examples of what you guys are talking about so we can enrich the entire social networking scene.

    What do you think?
    The Energizer Bonnie
  • Oh Come on! Donna pitched me very cleverly on the "write weekend" thingo, after doing a straight pitch on TWITTER! It was well done - so why the hoohaah!

    The price came last of course and it disqualified ME in a 100th of a second.

    Like any method. If the price ain't right or if the unqualified prosoect can't afford it then......pssst!
    Neil
  • Nancy -

    I love this and I love you for writing it!

    - Shama

    <abbr>Shama Hyders last blog post..Book Review And Giveaway – Step Into the Spotlight</abbr>
  • Thanks for the feedback, it looks to me like we struck a nerve!

    Pat, thanks for the comment and for the insights you give us from the introvert's pov.

    And yes, this is preaching to the choir but it's nice to sing and preach with you Kathleen, Shirley, Dawn, Dr. Steph, Bonnie, and Shama. I look at it more like exhaling together after holding our breaths on this topic... when it's time to vent, then the floodgates must open.

    Neil, appreciate you being the dissenting voice here! Your feedback on Donna does say she did a good job so obviously it wasn't one of the "yuck" pitches we're talking about.

    There's nothing wrong with making offers, it's just knowing how to surround your offers with quality, credibility, value, and trust, in my humble opinion.

    Keep at it with the comments, this is great and thanks to everyone who has reposted this blog on your Facebook pages!

    :-)
    N
  • I agree with you, Nancy: "people are so baffled at how to make money with social media that they fall back on old, tired tactics" plus there's a lot more desperate people (encouraged by unscrupulous Internet Marketers) who need to make a fast buck and think this is the way to do it! (again (encouraged by unscrupulous Internet Marketers).
  • For everyone wondering what VALUE means, please read this blog post on how I was given "roadside assistance" by the kind Tweeps one day while I was messing up my website...

    Value isn't just in what you broadcast, it's also in how you respond. (Thanks Laurel for your comment about value! That blog link is a good tie in to what you said)

    Rob:
    I'm not saying Twitter is a no pitch zone. It's how you do it... I endorse using social media to build the know,like,trust factor so when an offer is made, the prospective buyer is warmed up to the idea and the resistance is down. There is a whole process to this and never ever making an offer is NOT part of the process. I'm a fan of soft selling and whether it's in person or on Twitter, I feel it's far more effective than coercion and pressure.
  • Susan Winlaw
    This is my first posting here and I don't know what a URI is. Please let me know so I can be prepared next time.

    I totally agree and I analyze my followers just like Patricia stated earlier in the comments. In all of my social networks I look at the person and what they are saying before I follow back or accept the friend request. I have a conversation with a few before the follow back. In 2 cases, I actually blocked the twitter follower because it was obvious from their pic and comments that they were sex workers.

    And I really dislike the automated tools to get you 10,000 or so followers with no work on your part. How ridiculous is that?

    I dislike the hard sell or constant sell of many. I do like the total approach of people like Judith & Jim - soft selling from the heart. I try to add value with every post that I do and my one mission is to increase our safety quotient when it comes to our cars. Honing the pitch is all about truth and honesty - not hype.

    I wish you all a prosperous week and remember to Live & Love in JOY and to drive safely wherever you go. S>
  • I have to add that putting quotes out there just to keep your name in front of people seems lame, too. Especially when everyone knows that's why you're doing it. Thoughts?
  • Just to chime in here on the question of "value" in tweeting:

    Would it be possible to say that a tweet with inherent value is one that offers new understanding or a new approach to a widely shared problem?

    For instance, experts whose tweets are useful bits of information -- about facets of their expertise that solve a challenge many in online communities have -- could be said to provide new understanding (value) to their Followers.

    . . . because the "Social" in Social Media seems to be an acknowledgement of the effort to create a community in which knowledge is shared -- the way people gathering in a village square shared what they had learned for mutual benefit a hundred years ago.

    Extending that analogy: if you walk into "the square" of Twitter with your problem-solving tips, you'll likely find an interested audience. But the unsubtle pure-sales "Tweeter" is perceived as just noise in that environment, and people move away, the way they would in a village square.

    How do others define "value" in tweeting? Are there other ways of defining tweets that you want to read?

    <abbr>Laurel Marshfields last blog post..Box Your Can't-Get-Started Blues</abbr>
  • Ooops! Guess I am the odd man out here.

    Yes, I agree too many folks on Twitter pitch far too much (even a lot of folks I like) and you need to find the right pitch-to-value ratio.

    But my feeling is if you have something that can benefit my business, its not only your responsibility to let me know about it …

    … its your obligation!

    And that includes letting me know about it on Twitter -- even if its your own product!

    Yes, a lot of folks haven't figured out a way to do that conversationally. But I would much rather you let me know about something that might benefit my business, than letting me know "Oh my poor Fluffy has worms again!"

    And I disagree that pitching is not social. As someone who does business online (and I guess that is all of us) when done in taste and moderation, its part of the normal ebb and flow of conversation, its part of the mix.

    Plus (Controversy Alert! Controversy Alert!) I believe the most anti-social behavior of all is expecting folks to give you things – resources, tips, links, valuable information, inspiration and, at some point, not ask for your business.

    In fact, some of the most valuable information I have received online recently has been through product launches. Its truly astounding what people are giving away these days in the launch process, even before you have a chance to buy their product. And some product launches are virtual clinics in how to market your own products. If you are willing to take the time and observe, and see how you can apply what "the evil pitchers" are doing to your own marketing.

    So yeah, way too many people are abusers. Spamming sucks. That is what TweetDeck, Seesmic Desktop and the unfollow button are for.

    But to declare Twitter a no pitch zone, and all Twitter pitching to be the incarnation of evil itself is way too extreme.
  • I keep seeing businesses start believing this and agreeing, yet they continue the same "tactics" they've used for years. If you do things the same way, you'll get the same results. It isn't enough to believe it, you must IMPLEMENT it. A customer has no clue as to what you believe, they only know what you show and how you show it.
  • GROAN!!! That's my contribution to the collective. ;-) Like your 10:1 rule. Social media = marketing in moderation. Stressing the social and conversation versus selling and marketing. Great relationships mean we listen more than we talk (tweet). As a conscious leadership coach, I coach clients to serve and share, not sell. Sharing value and compassion, not 140 character commercials.
    Looking for the twute button with some tweeters (like the mute button on the remote when or if I watch commercial TV LOL)
    Thank you for another valuable conversation!
  • Nancy,
    Thanks for the conversation on this. I've been put off by all the people that are constantly making pitches too. And I really hope that doesn't end up messing up a good thing.

    I didn't think I was going to like Twitter but when you weed through it, there are some real gems and great connections. And there is something wonderful about giving little nuggets of information or sharing something you've found of value in just 140 characters!
  • Hi Nancy,
    I realized something while reading this 3 Tip article you posted here. Why am I 'tweeting'? It is a good question. I think the best answer for myself is of course yes, to connect. But more importantly, I am learning about myself, and learning how to share the multiplicity and various interests, skills and trainings O have to offer that actually do solve situations for people. When you are doing things that are not just ONE NOTE, or one focus, it is challenging to present who you are and what you actually have TO offer to others. The dialogues are fabulous for many interests yield many kinds of friendships. Twitter and Facebook are teaching ME how to come forth and share myself. In that, whether sales should ever happen, it has value beyond what I would have imagined. One day I will 'get better' at the things people do perhaps, but in the meantime I am taking small steps to become more visible, more honest, more willing to share who I am and what I can give. That is a good thing:)
    Thanks for this article, for one never knows what it will unfold within us as we read. This was my 'surprise'!
    Jeannie

    <abbr>Jeannies last blog post..Post #14: MY COMMENTARY ON FREEDOM, STARDOM, DESTINY, AND OUR CULTURE OF FAST FOOD FAME!</abbr>
  • Like the aging of fine wines, it takes time to fully grasp the accepted etiquette of social media marketing. It also takes patience, margin for error, and a rock solid knowledge base (coaching, education, training) so you can use that information to hone and perfect your skills.

    Without these, marketers will continue to misuse and misunderstand social media.

    I think we all agree - the "slam 'n' jam" tactics are a BIG no-no and a definite turn off.

    <abbr>Melanie Kissells last blog post..Creating A Personalized Space For Breastfeeding</abbr>
  • Hi Nancy & the other great contributors
    I opened your email "say NO to social media" while waiting for a password to access BrightTalk.com's Engagement Marketing Summit that is online now; because I have received e mails for tools to automate Twitter to boost your business and wanted to know how social media could benefit business - especially a service provider like rebirthing (conscious connected breathwork) of a friend of mine.

    <abbr>Philip Allens last blog post..Why Plants make Businesses Healthier & Happier & thus more productive?</abbr>
  • I think we are still experiencing the Oprah effect. If I see someone blasting out a link, time and time again, I check out their profile and if necessary unfollow them.

    I do find it more difficult to engage in conversations on Twitter with all the spam in the stream. I figure most of them will end up abandoning Twitter in the end.

    Bummer, isn't it?

    <abbr>Debra Simpsons last blog post..North San Diego Business @Large Podcast</abbr>
  • Let the choir say, Amen! Old tired sales tactics are boring and unimaginative... And, most importantly, they just don't work. People can snuff out when people are truly sincere or not, and if they were to truly reflect on their own results with client enrollment and most importantly client retention, they would see too that those methods aren't working. Nancy, you nailed it with article, and I'm sure we ALL can agree to that.
  • Natasha, what's so wonderful is that the groan of frustration is turning into the singing out for a better way! Love that we're in the choir together, I always sound better when I'm next to someone I can harmonize with. :-)
  • Thanks Nancy for saying out loud what I have wondered about the plethora of pitches on FB and Twitter. And as for the definition of "value provider" here's a quote from Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand that I think hits the core of it: "We, who live by values, not by loot are traders, both in manner and spirit. A trader is a person who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved."

    <abbr>Sheila Spanglers last blog post..Credit Squeeze Affects Small Business</abbr>
  • Susie Bonham-Craig
    Hi Nancy~ I So appreciate your posting today and the valuable perspectives offered. As a free live streaming radio show host, my purpose in joining twitter was to connect with conscious, like-minded, hearted and spirited friends looking to make a difference in their lives and in the lives of others. I'm also a coach who occasionally will run workshops, retreats, etc. Certainly, connecting with people and connecting others is my passion.

    I, myself, have no problem passing on info that might be helpful to someone, whether it be for their well-being, help raise their awareness, how to get involved with something that might interest them; including business tools they could use, etc.

    In this 'seemingly' chaotic and restless economy, we have the Social Media Gurus out there pitching how to make money with Social Media and many are taking advantage of it. After all, Network Marketing is nothing new and now, like with everything else, technology has expanded the platforms. You can usually tell who's aligned with value.

    More and more, we're hearing the words 'value' (like you mentioned), tact, respect, authenticity and mindfulness. this is a great thing!

    Fortunately, my network is made up of conscious people empowering other people (like many here). But that in no way discounts the fact that money isn't involved. So, I wonder: I think it would be interesting to know what it is one first thinks about when they are hit with a 'hard pitch'.

    For as long as I can remember, people are in business for two reasons - to provide a need, or to improve an existing situation - (To either gain something now, or in the future), and be compensated fairly, mainly to provide essential means to live in our society. We all want to help ourselves and help others. So, for me, mindfulness is key when approaching others.

    I agree with many of the perspectives of those who contributed here. Of course we are all going to have our own perspectives on what works for each of us and we can take responsibility for accepting what we're aligned with, or not.

    However, I don't think I will partake in the collective groaning, as it will only perpetuate the discomfort we feel. Just by you posting it, or even thinking it, has set a new space for greater intention and for that, I thank you. The best part is in the title of your post: we have the choice to say "NO", without judgment or justification.

    Thanks for the space to share~
    Graces & Blessings~
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