Making Sense of Sedona: Thoughts on James Ray

by Nancy Marmolejo on November 7, 2009

in Creative Musings

image from cnn.com

image from cnn.com

A few weeks ago I had dinner with Suzanne Falter Barns, and we started talking about the tragedy of events related to a retreat led by James Arthur Ray.

“This is the personal development world’s 9/11″, she said, and as the aftermath pours out, she may be right.

In case you aren’t aware of what happened, Mr. Ray held a high priced event where he chose to incorporate his interpretation of Native American spiritual practices, namely the Vision Quest and the Sweat Lodge.

He did so in a way that has, so far, left 3 people dead and dozens more injured. And what he did was not actually a Vision Quest or a Sweat Lodge, but misinformed imitations.

It’s very hard not to judge a man who acted irresponsibly- but as much as I’d like to drop judgment, the news of his actions after this tragedy seem like an insult to the people who lost their lives. He carried on business as usual until 2 weeks after the tragedy.

I’m sure in retrospect he’s probably wishing his October 28 post had been published immediately after the day of the deaths, but that’s one he’s going to have to grapple with.

The Personal and The Professional: My Reasons For Speaking Out

1. Because I work with  clients who aspire to the spotlight, I must show all sides of what can happen once you’re there.When I work with my clients, we focus on the The Public Self and The Payoff, but we also make sure The Private Self is in check. That means anything the public doesn’t see: how you run your business and your life behind the scenes. As a highly visible expert, you have a duty and an obligation to not abuse your power.  Keeping the ego checked  is essential if you’re truly guided by mission.

2. This incident calls into question how people choose to invest in themselves. It’s really none of my concern how or how much people invest in order to grow as spiritual, highly developed humans. I put a lot of time and effort into my own personal development, so I’m not here to criticize. As an offshoot of the criticisms around James Ray, there is also a surge of criticism of people who invest in their self care and growth.  Life coaches, counselors, workshop leaders, and anyone in the transformational fields do wonders for others and for our planet. Knocking someone as weak or not together because he or she chooses to spend money on inner work is silly.

That's me in the foreground at an Aztec Dance ceremony for summer solstice

All that being said, in traditional Native American circles, money is NEVER exchanged for prayers or access to ceremony. Period. You can share a thank you afterwards by providing food, gas money, or gifts of appreciation but it’s not the entry way. Paying for a sweat is a surefire way to know that it’s not traditionally based. How do I know this? See my next point.

3. Thirdly, he disrespected traditional ways I follow. One of the reasons why I have waited to share on this topic is because sweats and other indigenous ceremonies are part of my tradition and I am very keen on keeping that a part of my private life.  Sure, you can see photos of me in my Aztec dance regalia in my social media pics, and if you read my stuff enough you’ll hear me often refer to my inner ass-kicking alter ego The Aztec Warrior Queen. But I don’t brand around that or draw attention to it- the same way not every Christian chooses to brand around their faith but rather to let it shine through actions.  This I know:  James Ray was not properly trained or initiated to carry out the “ceremonies” he conducted.

Some Tips

Everyone wants to know what to make of this and many conversations are circulating that I encourage you to be part of.

In my opinion, we’re talking about ego run amuck. We’re also talking about the continued misuse of spiritual traditions by improperly trained “gurus”.

I left the following comments on The Get Known Now Blog, and I’m sharing them with you to get you questioning gurus and leaders and how you attain your spiritual growth. I also want you to think about the powerful work you do and where your POWER boundaries are.

There’s also a link to a great radio interview at the end of the post- I hope this helps all of us reach a place of clarity around these tragic, preventable deaths.

MY COMMENTS FROM THE GET KNOWN NOW BLOG COMMENT STREAM:

The questions one needs to ask before getting into the proverbial car with a guru are more important than ever before.

From my viewpoint, if someone is using ceremonies borrowed from other cultures, first you need to find out if that person is qualified or respected in the other culture to begin with. I checked around the Native American community and nobody I know has ever seen him do the long, hard path of ceremonies and commitments it takes to be a sweat lodge leader or to put people on a vision quest. That would be like someone going to a weekend course to become a Jewish Rabbi. It’s a cultural insult as well as a fraud.

So if the person doesn’t hold the credibility, that is one big red flag.

I suggest seekers look at gurus of any sort by asking questions:

1. What is this person’s background and training?
2. How authentic is this?
3. Is the person credible?
4. Does this look like a commitment this person walks in his or her life… or something that sounds alluring to fill spaces?
5. Is any part of my own power being jeopardized?

I listened to an incredible radio program with Shawna Bowen. She was on site providing support to victims while this went on. She knows her stuff, and in this interview (it’s long but hang on for the entire thing if you want a true understanding of the scope of this incident) she brings in a gentleman by the name of Jim Tree, who shares his opinion of this from the Native American perspective.

Here’s the link… I suggest everyone listen to this to fully understand all sides of the incident.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ShawnaBowen/2009/10/13/Support-and-Insight-for-Parents-with-troubled-Teen

My prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the dead and injured. I also send a prayer out to James Ray, hoping he experiences his own transformation and growth as a result of this event and re-examines his business model and motives. I also send a big prayer out to all of you and encourage everyone to keep finding ways to dig deeper into yourself so you can put your powerful message out into the world in a way that activates positive change and growth into the healing this world so badly needs.

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  • Well said...especially the issue of checking out the leader's credentials, so needed to be said. Spiritual marketing seems to be the new buzz word...

    People are treating spiritual matters like shopping in a candy store, stop in here have a bit of this and that... without doing the deep transformational work that is necessary to manage the ego, walking the razor's edge can be dangerous and damaging to self and others.

    This is a teaching moment for all of the heart-centered practitioners who stand at the periphery need to come out and be seen. Thank you.
  • Michele, thank you so much for this response! I'm waiting on a clear definition of "spiritual marketing" so I really understand the intention... my hunch is that not all people are using it the same. Please encourage other heart centered entrepreneurs to step out of the periphery and join this dialog... it's important.
    N
  • Hi Nancy - this may help...!

    I set up Spiritus – the Spiritual Marketing Directory as a business directory where people can experience the philosophy of those who run a business before starting the business relationship.

    My own definition of Spiritual Marketing is that all aspects of how a business presents itself accurately reflect the core values of those who run it.
    For some businesses a core value will be quality and integrity (of product and/or service).

    For another a core value is to offer the best possible “value for money”.

    For another it will be to offer the lowest possible price.

    For yet another a core value will the widest possible choice of goods or services.

    For some businesses, a core value is to create shareholder value.

    For others, to be a company that employs the most able people and rewards them with the highest remuneration.

    Customers will be attracted to different businesses because their values match.

    And what matters most to a customer may change when looking for, say. a personal coach from when looking for a lawyer to fight a personal injury claim.

    For me,the important thing about Spiritual Marketing is that all the marketing (and customer-facing) communications accurately reflect those values.

    When they do not, the customer expects one thing and gets another, which creates disappointed, even angry, customers.

    For instance, many banks have marketed themselves as a safe place for customers’ deposits. It turns out that the most important value for many banks has been the financial rewards of its staff.

    Some businesses present excellent service as a core value, but in reality are under-resourced to deliver what is promised.

    Some businesses offer high quality, but in reality are packaging mediocre products in expensive wrappings.

    Some offer personal service by named staff, but the actual work is passed on to others once the contract is won.

    There will always be people looking for a product/service delivered by a business no matter what its core values.

    For me, Marketing from Spirit, or Spiritual Marketing, is faithfully presenting those values so the business attracts its perfect customers and customers are attracted to the perfect solution for their needs.


    Shelagh
  • Shelagh,
    thank you for the wonderful words on spiritual marketing. I see it as a way to really allow our businesses to work towards a greater mission, not based in narcissism or greed, but for greater good. In a sense, it's getting out of the way of the mission our businesses are set up to carry out. Do you agree with that?
  • Nancy, I think that "getting out of the way" is a great way of putting it.

    Spiritual Marketing is letting our purpose shine through.

    And it is applicable to every trade or profession.
  • eightwomendream
    What seems crazy to me in this story with JR is that he supposedly held mock death rituals where the old self died and the new self emerged. If we are to believe what has been written, he dressed as God and his assistants dressed as death and they carried people off in a ceremony of "killing the old self so the new self is born".

    He supposedly is a deep believer in the Law Of Attraction and discusses the ramifications of doing actions with great feeling. Combine this with messing with shamanistic traditions and I think you have a recipe for disaster. I am blown away at this part of the stories about where he has gone with his Harmonic Wealth training.

    It is such a shame because people like Bob Proctor and John Assaraf provide real training for making effective change in your life and it doesn't involve dressing as God or sweating to death.

    Unfortunately they are all being lumped in with James Ray. A friend of mine put in an old copy of the Secret with some friends to see what we think about it now and seeing James Ray makes the whole DVD seem wrong and sad.

    It's such a shame and our hearts go out to the families of the people who died trying to better themselves.
  • I have no idea if any of what you are mentioning is true, and I certainly don't want this comment thread to turn into a kangaroo court. But it is a shame what happened and in this discussion I hope we can shed some light into the truths and realities surrounding this.
  • johncurtis
    “The Self-Help Movement has become the Self-Destruct Movement!”

    There was a time when the answers to life’s challenges were simple. We learned to make our own decisions based on common sense, family values and religion, and we learned good judgment from life experience and through the sound advice of family and friends.

    Now, however, Self-Help gurus have brainwashed us into believing that they know what is best for us, our marriages and our families. These self-proclaimed experts make millions while offering up their generic advice without any solid evidence to support their claims.

    The common sense once readily available to all of us has been hijacked. Self-Help has evolved into a “quasi-religious” cult following through the systematic commercialization of positive psychology and sound mental health.

    The Self-Help Movement has become the Self-Destruct Movement by diminishing or destroying our ability to explore, interpret, assess, create, judge, choose and evolve on our own. We have given up the freedom to live life, and build healthy marriages and families based on our unique history, values and life experience. Instead many (desperately) search outside themselves for someone to tell them how to be happy, what they should value and how they should act.

    Being a “happier person” or having a “healthier family,” whatever that means, are often the goals of consumers of Self-Help products. Yet studies continue to show that to be happy and healthy is simple but not necessarily easy. Few of us want to do the hard work necessary to change, so we keep searching for an easier way offered by the latest guru, sometimes with deadly consequences.

    The Solution: A Return to our (Common) Senses! The best way out of this learned “self-helplessness” is to go cold turkey. Stop watching ALL Self-Help shows now, and quit reading any more Self-Help books, at least until you have applied what you read in the last one.

    Begin, instead, to reclaim your natural, God-given ability to think for yourself. The common sense that was once readily available to all of us is still there free of charge and waiting to be applied to just about any challenge we might face in life… all you have to do is use it.

    John Curtis, Ph.D. is the founder of Americans Against Self-Help Fraud - http://selfhelpfraud.com/
  • John,
    everyone is entitled to their opinion, and you certainly have yours. I see the essence of what you're saying: to be more self reliant in connecting with our own wisdom. But it's a lot easier to work from a scaffold than try to leap up the side of a tall building, so for that reason I support people delving into tools and resources to help themselves. '

    Yes, we all have it inside ourselves but even going to God is a form of self help... we may have the answers within but we don't always know where to look for them.
  • Thank you Nancy for provoking more thoughts and questions around the subject of the James Ray incident as well as give us the Native American perspective. I feel very strongly about this and have written more on my blog titled, Leadership and Guru Addiction. (see http://budurl.com/4rrv and http://budurl.com/pny7). I did get inspired today to write some other thoughts…

    I want to say again how profoundly sorry I am for the friends and family of the people who died and those still injured.

    This event has given all of us a great opportunity to reevaluate and question ourselves as students and leaders. We have an opportunity here to help leadership development through authentic leadership. This could be a truly effective leadership that comes out of a commitment to authenticity.

    We can look at this from so many directions…(for more on this visit http://budurl.com/yf56)

    Warmly,
    Dr. Jennifer Howard
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