Stepford Wife Social Networking: Turn Off the Canned Replies Already!

by Nancy Marmolejo on April 24, 2009

in Social Networking

I was just reading Publicity Hound Joan Stewart’s ezine from this week, chuckling at her list of social networking annoyances.

From too many unnecessary “thank you’s” to the neverending stream of Twitter pitches, she definitely got me thinking of what is currently my pet peeve of social networking:

Stepford Wife Responses.

People, I’m all about simplifying life, delegating out the small stuff, and automating when you can to make this social networking bonanza work for you.

But too many people are so dang OBVIOUS that they’re copying and pasting pre-made replies when RSVP’ing an event or posting a wall comment!  Whether they’re doing it themselves, or they “smartly delegated” the work to an assistant, it comes across as genuine as Katherine Ross in that Stepford Wives poster.

It was after posting a Facebook event that I went over the edge.

I didn’t realize this was so pervasive until 10 people posted the EXACT same response (down to the punctuation) on my wall saying they couldn’t make the event. It began to feel eerily bot-ish by the 5th or 6th identical reply.

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sorry I can’t make it. I hope it goes well.”

I have no problem with you not making it, but do you realize that an entire cohort of Facebook users are phrasing their “I will not be able to make it” replies exactly, exactly, exactly the same?

My Advice:

Don’t send the same exact reply all the time. If someone is teaching you to do this as a way of streamlining your social networking, take their advice but add in some variety. Engage your creativity and come up with something original.

Remember, each time you respond to an event post a wall comment, it shows up in the Facebook feed. If someone clicks on your posts and sees you’re writing the exact same phrase over and over again, your cover is blown.

If you’re delegating out tasks like these to an assistant, create a list of 5 possible replies to mix in. At least it will come across as slightly more sincere. .. and less Stepford Wife-ish.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks

Related posts:

  1. Facebook Photos: How to Stand Out and Get Noticed
  2. Religion in the Social Networking Workplace
  3. Facebook Notes: An Easy Strategy for High Visibility
  4. Social Networking Landing Pages: Got One?
  5. Time to Purge Your Social Media Followers?

  • DMs as icebreakers? I still have to find 1 of my followers who is not someone I know from real life who cares to build a relationship.

    We always talk about getting to know the person on the other side but nobody cares to do that.

    Some people seem to only have conversations always with the same 5-10 people while the rest looks from outside.

    Then you have the constant pithers and what kind of conversation would you have with them? "I like the way you pitch to me"?

    It's not easy to create relationships when you see there's a VA on the other side sending programmed messages or when you can't join the "popular" people (or even the regular folks) for a conversation. You can follow them, they can follow you, but they'll never interact with you so it's still 1-way marketing to me for the most part.

    <abbr>Claudia Juarezs last blog post..Happiness is…</abbr>
  • I'm with you on this one, Nancy -- as usual, you make a great point about keeping the "social" in social networking.

    How do you feel about auto DM's on Twitter? I'm engaged in a discussion/disagreement with another coach (who has WAY more followers than I do) about using auto DM's for new followers. Coach says, "do it" and make them sound friendly, personal and un-canned. My feeling is, if it's canned, it's going to sound that way. For a while, I was DM'ing new followers by hand but that got out of control quickly. Any thoughts? I reinstated my auto DM's (and, using TweetLater I'm able to rotate different msgs) but after reading your excellent post I'm rethinking that decision. Oh...and I never include a link in an auto DM.

    Thanks!

    <abbr>Joan Schramms last blog post..Job Search Strategies: MORE than 6 Degrees to a New Job</abbr>
  • Joan:
    I turned off my auto-dm 2 months ago and I have no regrets. It is a debatable issue, I just spoke with someone the other day who likes using them and we respectfully agreed to disagree. Some people feel intimidated by making an initial contact with followers, so the auto-dm does serve a purpose in breaking the ice. Social networking training wheels? I do know the jury is split on this one.
  • My pet peeve is similar.
    Those who will post on facebook, then go over to twitter and post the exact same phrase. Then their tweets are fed into facebook and it almost looks like they are spamming the exact same message.
  • Very valid post Nancy. I see this alot and agree that it doesn't do relationship building any favours. After all relationships is what social networking is all about and if you imagine speaking directly to someone in that manner you wouldn't do it.
  • Great points Nancy! I was going to write something funny, but I see Victoria Player (above) beat me to it :)

    Thanks for the great info - always.

    Stay Sparkly,
    ~ Lee
  • It's more like a broken pace-maker, tic-tac, tic-tac, tic, tic, tic, doesn't quite make it to the "tac", and it could be a "killer" if it doesn't. (Couldn't resist that one)?

    Anyway, spseaking of the real deal...LOVE your HUG series of pics. My goodness, how adorable and refreshing. I forgot Mari Smith is a "wee" taller than you (how's that possible?) and Lorrie looks beautiful. Now, what's up with Adam, how come you guys aren't hugging? - He's so handsome; he's got that special "como sel llama" thing going for him.

    Here's a big virtual hug for you con mucho amor y carino.

    <abbr>Alis last blog post..The Power of Your Message</abbr>
  • I have to agree with Nancy on this Kaloma. Who wants friends or followers that automate everything on social networking sites? After all, it takes the SOCIAL right out of it.

    It's about building relationships!

    <abbr>Shannon Cherrys last blog post..Come celebrate with me - and get a great gift!</abbr>
  • Nancy I thought it was just me. I especially don't like direct messages. It not only feels canned but as if they don't really care.

    It's OK to try to do business with me but does anyone really believe I'm going to check out all those links when they don't even know anything about me or my wants or needs.

    Get to know me first before you approach me about anything because I want to get to know you too.

    <abbr>Linda Hampton RN MSNs last blog post..Stress Free Living - Move It Or Lose It</abbr>
  • Kaloma
    Hmmmm...while I can understand why you'd find those responses a bit unnervingly automated, I'm not sure I get the point of scolding potential CUSTOMERS about how they decline your offers.

    It could be worse -- they could be un-friending you, un-following you or unsubscribing from your list.
  • Kaloma, that's a good point. But if someone is outsourcing "sorry I can't make it" responses, then they're probably not even aware of any offers being made. I don't see it as scolding, just trying to shed light for users to engage in best practices.

    Facebook friends are limited to 5000- I'd rather have the majority be great matches than keep people on who aren't a great match. Unfriending and unfollowing is not a bad thing if there is no match.
  • The biggest automatic offense, in my book? The automatic direct messages. I can't understand in what universe that is a good idea. I can't tell you how many times I've been beeped in the middle of the night (direct messages are the only tweets sent to my phone) by some direct message that's clearly a bot. NOT FRESH!

    I left getting paged at 2 a.m. behind with my last J.O.B., thanks... *grump*

    <abbr>Elizabeth Genco Purviss last blog post..How To Find The Time You Need To Create The Business You Really Want</abbr>
  • Victoria,
    thank you so much. thank you so much. thank you so much. thank you so much. LOL!

    Elizabeth, follow OptMeOut on Twitter, it will reduce most (but not all) of your direct message spam. And turn your phone off at night!
    :-)
    Nancy
  • What a great post Nancy!
    What a great post Nancy!
    What a great post Nancy!

    Lol! Only joking! :))

    I'm SO with you on this one Nancy. My particular pet hate is people sending out these automated replies without even looking at the event.
  • Great post, Nancy. Thanks for sharing! Oops, did that sound canned? LOL

    But seriously, I couldn't agree more. I'd rather receive a sincere or authentic response some of the time than an absentminded pat on the head all of the time.

    Transparently canned responses on social media are like the conversation you have at a live event with the person who is clearly more interested in everything in the room BUT your conversation.

    Keep it coming, oh Diva of the Viva!
  • Great article, and something I have been monitoring closely. I have even taken screenshots of some of the things that have come up in my newsfeed. I think some high profile gurus would be shocked if I they realized the impact it has on their reputation.

    I wonder if everyone is using the same VA and they only have one swipe file to work form. LOL

    <abbr>Ian David Chapmans last blog post..If You Could Message 1 Million People What Would You Say?</abbr>
blog comments powered by Disqus

Previous post:

Next post: